Drawing to conclusions

memo to self: NEVER do artwork before work. i get to frustrated. which, for my job, isn't a good thing to be walking to work with.
UGH! drawing and such use to set me free! i could doodle away and it felt like i had wings. now... it seems like every time i pic up a pencil vines wrap themselves around me, trapping me and not allowing me to create anything.
and every thing that i create, just, never seems good enough. NEEEEH! i wish i could go back in time and relive my free feeling lifestyle.

I'm starting to hate DA too. i rarely submit anything, and it makes me feel guilty. like everyone is waiting on me and is pressuring me. i know its unlikely, I'm not even close to that popular. i dunno. i just feel that every time i go online i should submit something. i cant wait for this artist block to dislodge. *looks for mental crowbar*

that and i don't like writing journals there either. it feels like i have to be positive. i actually had one kid ask me to stop being sad because he was sad already. er well then don't read my journal. tish.

pretty much On The Verge Of Prozac is my safety spot. i kind a feel free here, less pressured. mostly because the only people that really know about this blog is Scott, Paul, and Molly. all 3 barely pay attention to it so it doesn't feel as constricting.

i guess i just don't like hurting/offending people. and really, isn't a journal suppose to be a free writing thing? where you don't have to worry about others opinions? that's why i like my online blog. my parents can barely understand how to turn on the computer, and none of my friends really know about it. i think i may have mentioned it once.

bah. i gotta go to work now. i still wanna try and tackle that art piece. until next time art! i shall return!! *insert angry eyes here*