we are mighty!

so gopher season has come to an end. Ellie made some freak cardboard corridor to the back door. the gopher didn't come out again till Melanie came to work. anyways finally, the gopher came out and Ellie went running after it like a crazy lady. gopher was all "f@#$ that!" and ran its lil ass out of the store. so alas, we are gopher-less. i wanted to dress it up like a KFC member and make it our mascot! probably be smarter then 1/2 our employees.

hmm.... sleepy.

more family problems. and not just the ones with mom, but grandma too. *sigh*

I thought it was funny!




Characters copyrighted to Disney (and whoever else own them)

I am one with the paper bag...

I'm knocked up on pixie sticks and caffeine drinks right now, and i think i can taste color. the cats attacking the dog, again. and i keep spelling everything backwards.
it is also day 2 of the gopher war. yeah a gopher got into KFC yesterday and i have no clue how. it has set up base behind the drive thru counter. it has already taken out one solider, Melanie would just stand on a chair and scream. tried to chew on Blaire who prepared for this maneuver and put on gloves. it fell back during day, but attacked as soon as the screamer came back. it smells fear! i have begged for reinforcements, but alas the higher ups believe that brooms and open doors will defeat this evil vermin. too bad he is small and can hide under tills and cupboards where brooms cannot reach. perhaps tomorrow will bring victory. or Ellie will get bit and have rabies.

I'm gonna go into a sugar induced coma now...






OMG TALKING MUFFINS! run for the hills!

Baby we aint got no place to go.

Your man by Josh turner. dunno what it is with that guys voice, but damn! that deep rumble gives me girly shivers lol!

anyways, my moms being her usual drugged up bitchy self. i went and bought a 2L of ginger ale (my fav. pop) and kinda had it hidden away in my room so the scavengers don't chug it down. yeah they freaking went though my stuff, ate some of my chips and drank like 1/2 the 2L. If they ask i almost always say they can have some. but they rarely do! i know the whole thing with our family is "whats mine is yours" but Jesus, i don't think your kidneys will explode if you ask. it annoys me, cuz then when i go to have some there is either one small glass left, or, none. annoying.

I'm not in that bad of a mood actually. my moms being a bitch but it isn't really bothering me. like when i said something about how they didn't ask she went all "well ill kick you out of my house. you have no right to live here! bitch bitch bitch..." i just laughed and told her to try. considering i pay rent, and dad would kick her ass out before mine. she kept bitching more on how she would kick me out. so i told her that if she does she doesn't get anymore of my pop. she shut up then. well for a bit. then she mumbled some gibberish that i laughed at.

i forgot to do the fryers yesterday. i don't really care too much, they can bitch if they want. but considering i can still count on one hand how many times i have forgot to do them, they cant bitch too loud.

i realllly miss the Internet on my computer!! waaaaa! lol

actually I'm kinda happy, i have social plans planned out for these 2 weeks. Thursday I'm hooking up with an old friend and going to the old bar. me Jo and Mellisa to be exact. the only problem is that Jo and Mellisa had this thing with this chick named Roxane. this was like a year ago now. we all have forgot all about it (to be honest the whole thing was over this stupid guy, who had no neck. icky) but this chick is still going on about it. anyways Mellisa is worried that the chick will try and do something. i told her if she does we will just tell her to go away. besides if she doesn't listen there is like 3 of us against 1 of her. I'm not too worried.
then next Saturday a friend of mine, Kayla, is have a b-day party. I'm kinda scared though cuz i have a feeling that her gay friend will be there who hit on me before. don't get me wrong, I'm okay with her being gay. just she keeps hitting on me, and well I'm not gay. and i don't wanna be mean. so I'm making Jo come with me. ha!

Scott's leaving like Monday or Tuesday to go to Las Vegas. I'm gonna miss him sooooooo much. ill be all whiny for that week hes gone so brace yourself. lol i might be i dunno we shall see. perhaps ill be happy hes gone! ha! yeah not likely.

er, that's all for now. other then my dog is a masochist and likes being attacked by the cat. freak.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect

So i wont be able to have Internet till Saturday cuz my dad hates me. hes against me. i am serious about that! he plans ways to make my life horrible. like once for Christmas he got one of those huge flashlights that shines like the light of god. for a whole year he would wake me up at like 3 in the morning with "pissst, Ashley" and id groggily roll over, then WHAM! fucking evil light of god! in my eyes. yeah. then he would laugh.

so until then all i can do is type. I've joined this writ ting group that gets together ever 2 weeks and have kinda decided to post some of my work on blogger. I'm not going to post it on deviant cuz honestly, when i see other peoples written work i just ignore it. i know its mean and i know others do the same so I'm not going to bother. instead ill just blogger it. ill put on updates, but other then i wanna keep it separate from DA.

here's the website: http://delightfullytackyyetunrefined.blogspot.com/

in another note i went to my sister-in-laws this weekend and took care of the kids. it was allot of fun. took them to the park and played there for like an hour and a half. the only problem is that it is an off leash area there to, so lots of people take their dogs there to. and the 2 girls are terrified of dogs so for a good bit of it all we would do is sit at the very highest point of the jungle gym and eat crackers. we made cookies and read lots of stories.

while i was there i went shopping (the kids were off learning how to ski) on a more.. scarier part of town. Whyte Avenue, Edmonton to be exact. now I'm a small town country girl, where i only really read about gun shootings and shit. so when i was walking down there i was scared shitless. but i went into a really cool store that had Gothic/punk/Celtic clothes there. they had like old style medieval gowns. oh yeah drool city.
so i bought the most awesome skirt there! it was long (like it pools at my feet, but I'm 5'5 an a 1/2, so meh) and had ribbons, and little roses on it. my new prized article of clothing! i love it! I'm gonna take a pic of it on me and post it! soon as my Internets back.
on my way walking back to the meeting spot where id get picked up all i could think was "don't mug me! if you do leave me my skirt!"

was scary people there. like Indian/Mexican guys that just stared at me i was so scared. they were doing to try and mug me i know it!

I'm such a wuss.

my moms being as annoying as hell. freaking tietze! she is seriously like "i love you! give me a hug and a kiss. you stupid cunt" so yeah me and the family are staying a wide berth from her. pretty much as soon as i left Paul and Mollys she just unloaded on me. it was like she was saving it up for the whole fucking weekend. it was the usual stuff though, I'm the most horrible thing here and I'm the reason all bad things happen. so don't worry any FBI agents I'm the reason the twin towers were attacked. how? well cuz my mom said so that's how! i wish she would leave me alone.

i took 2 aspirins and nothings happening. perhaps ill try and lay down, or play DDR.

Sobby Blog!

this is actually a response to and email my sister in-law sent me, regarding my last post. i was going to email it, but i chickened out. i don't know why i was scared to send it to her but i was. so instead I'm posting it (it does kinda sound like a blog entry anyway)

that's okay, I'm not much of a blog reader either. I'm not even much of a blog writer lol.
I dunno whats up with me but i feel like I'm caged. i don't wanna be like this anymore. i don't know why i feel like this but i do. i wanna run away some days. just hop onto my bike and ride away for a bit.
I find I'm confused over everything and all i do is walk through a thick fog. i wish i could have some me time. where i don't have to listen to lee stim, and pretty much babysit my mom. i hate listening to her stupid ideas, and comments. she pretends that she knows sooo much and that she is all smart and intelligent. i know its mean, but she isn't, in all actuality she is stupid. that wouldn't bother me though, if only she could accept it. i know I'm no super brainier, but i accept that. I'm okay with the fact that i can just barely understand what other people say when it comes to stuff that isn't just every day things. but i listen, so to me i think that's a pretty good.
one good thing happened at work the other day. Ellie finally saw how useless most of my cooks were. they are a pain cuz most of the time they never do what they have to get done. she saw this and started commenting on it. i told her that they do this everyday, and that its nothing new. it was kinda nice.
as for the crazy thing... i am scared. it like a nightmare feeling, where one day ill wake-up screaming and i wont know why, or who i am anymore. right now it feels like its just creeping up on me waiting. everyone has their demons. this ones mine. i know it sound silly but to me its real. I'm just waiting for the day i crack and start crying, cuz i know that on that day there is a 50:50 Chance i might not stop. everyone looks at me and always thinks that I'm fine but really i just try and plaster a smile on my face. kinda like wearing a mask. i hate it.
anyway, i just told my mom that she should feed lee more then just cracker (like a sandwich maybe) which is pretty much my signal that i need to help her again. and i need to shower. ill ttyl

i look back at my blogs and to me it looks like I'm trying to create a pity party. i honestly don't want one. people seem to think i have a hard life. in truth i don't, well at least not compared to some others. i don't mind if people pity me per say but i feel like I'm trying to make them pity me. i don't want others to think that's what I'm striving for.

Will you still love me?



made almost entirely out of Cozmo mag.

Phenol

Right now I'm chewing on a Styrofoam plate, its somehow satisfying. don't ask me why. a lot of stuff has been going on. my mom been going up and down with her drug/psychotic induced ways, my grandmother got her knee operated on, but wont stop walking on it, insisting she is fine and doesn't need help. we are trying to plan out lees future where he will go into a group home. i don't want him to go. KFC is being its usual douche self. but thats mostly my fault.
Scott's setting up my computer so i can play sims. i've become addicted to it again. mostly cuz i got the new add-on, seasons, which is pretty cool but does weird shit to my computer.
I'm kinda tired.
i had a shower at Scotts today and while i was in there i was thinking about how much things have changed and how I've becomes a bit more stressed out lately. last time this happened i went a lil crazy myself. started to plan my own death and things. it kinda started when i started making little wool noose for my dolls and hung them where ever i was sitting.
I'm scared. i don't want to go wacky again. i really don't. i don't ever want to end up like my mom. I'm scared that if i do if it will be worse then before. i don't want to die. least i don't think i do, i dunno anymore. it seems i doubt every thing now. specially me and Scott. is it wrong to want to be with someone but not want to spend the rest of your life with them? i look at me and Scott and there are so many things that we find difficult for both of us to accept of one another. i wish things were different i wish i was different. i don't feel like myself anymore. I'm wanting to be more attractive. it bothers me that i can go out and be dressed up to the 9 and yet no one seems to notice me. i feel ugly. i wish me and Scott could just cuddle.

if i do go crazy, will anyone still love me? I don't want to be alone. I'm scared of everything it seems.

no pic today. not yet at least.