Burn Baby Burn!

ever met one of those people that you wish evolution would have just nipped that gene/generation in the bud? no? not yet hu? well let me introduce you to my mom!
shes a 40 something year old bag-face bitch, who's hobbies are plugging toilet, trying to burn down houses, and all around uselessness! this sexy 175 pound beast is well known for her ability to bond with whales while going swimming in the sea! they think that shes part of their family awwwww!

dear god do i hate her! shes just one of those creatures who you wish woulds have died after child birth. though knowing her she would probably relate to a black widow or praying mantis.

she was gone for the weekend, doggy sitting. it was SOOOOOO nice!
i didn't hear any bitching, we ACTUALLY got some work done! i had this wonderful layer of peace and calm wrapped around me! it was like i was at the cabin! nice happy Ashley!

THEN! the stupid thing had to come home. like a freaking homing pigeon no one wanted!
so now i have the joys of dealing with an over grown pig that make incoherent sound and thinks that i am her personal slave just cuz i spent 9 months in her womb (and during that time i was probably trying to claw my way to freedom) and if she even asked in the region of politeness i would have not minded. but that wouldn't be my mother now would it?

anyways, she came home Monday night. in the 2 days she has been here, she has:

• bitched that she cant shit. (well if you MOVED every once in a blue moon, it may not hurt so much!)
• complained about EVERY part of her body hurting
• played with the thermostat so much i started to think that i was have hot flashes
• clog the toilet not once, not twice, but 4, so like twice a day. her excuse is that "i pooped!" oh aren't we proud of you and ur lil bowl moving skills lets reward you with a cookie!
• complained that i have to eat and that she has to include me in ANY meal she plans.

Oooooh! but that's not the best part! no, no, no! i came home from school today to find an egg being boiled on the stove and my dear mother tucked into bed asleep! oh how fucking cute! a fire hazard ready to happen! how i love surprises!
this goes hand in hand with the over flowing toilet that was left to spill over. again "i pooped!"

so this is whats going to happen: I'm gonna come walking home one day with the house in flames, lee and the pets standing outside, and the firefighters dragging my mom out of the house while IN the bed cuz shes to lazy to crawl out of it to save her own skin!




I'm almost looking forward to work, almost.
and the Alberta government thinks shes not crazy? what smart dip wads!

all i want for Christmas is sanity and a camcorder!

A little to the left.

I feel a little to the left today.
I'm not much of a left person.
it like your always sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else run around and have fun, and when you go to join, there is never any room, or an aura of unwantedness settles in like a fog.
being on left is also kinda cool too. your sitting on the bench and its slightly chilly, but the sun is there to warm your back. if those damn clouds would just stop passing over it though.
when being a little to the left you always seem to have people act weird around you. its like they know your a little off and not quite stable and so they either ignore you, or try to take advantage of you. very unsettling.

being to the left doesn't give you that much of a variety of emotions either, you always feel blah. you only just have different ranges of bleh.

i think one of the reasons i was a little to the left today, it that i kinda noticed i have gone into mother hen mode again. i hate mother hen mode.
i feel as if i have to protect everyone or make it right. one of my friends feels down and alone. it frustrates me, its like I'm blocked from her by this barrier, its made by small strings of web but is very solid. ever time i wanna get to her i slam myself against the wall and the wall absorbs the energy and just budges a little.
it makes me feel so angry. i want to scream and shout, i want to throw things. and i don't think its because i can help her, its because i feel helpless myself. i
enjoy control i thrive on it like a thirsty flower.

i wish it was tomorrow already, and the sunlight was already filtering in through out big bay window in the living room. then i could lean to the right and curl up in it, just soaking it in.
i like sitting in the sun, its so warm and cozy.

i cant wait till I'm level again and perhaps feeling right. the right always looks more comforting. but the grass is always greener on the right side.
I'm sleepy.

i cut myself while washing out my water bottle. i found a turkey baster washing wand that fits inside my mouthpiece. while washing it i slice the middle of my hand open.
i didn't think anything of it at the time and cleaned out the kitty litter. i think its infected now because its so soar. slightly swollen too.

i wish i could buy a pass to galaxy land with a friend. i want to feel like a child again.

Im not your father

so, Ive spent the weekend at Paul and Molly's place. sadly, again, Paul wasn't here, though hopefully hes suppose to be home by 5, so dad and me can visit.

i babysat, k wait, i playtime with the kids yesterday. i don't like babysitting, cuz all i imagine is me sitting on 2 babies suffocating them with me ass.  

any-who, we went to the bizarre at Molly's Church, which was nice but very crowded. the food was very good though and molly was able to bring home lots of sandwiches. the downstairs had tables with lots on sale. lots of haggling, and people wanting me to buy their stuff. i only bought one turtle thing. ain't you proud? except that the same person i bought my turtle from, was bugging me into buying Tupperware and junky knickknack crap. i really dislike that, if i wanted some don't you think i would buy it? and beside most of that junk is just that junk. yesh. 

i then took the kids to the park, we had a grand time, well they did. i just got weird looks from people thinking that the 2 were mine. till they yelled out auntie Ashley.

we then walked home and the girls drew pictures and made up stories about how the king punched the princess in the face. i love those kids. 

Molly came home and we all biked to Bikeworks and got my bike all fixed up!

a really cutie that was there helped me fix my tire. i explained to him that i don't know much about fixing bikes and that times like those were real treats! he kinda looked surprised (probably cuz i was with molly and that girl has bike grease running through her veins, and honey too. bike grease and honey. oh yum!)

anyways he showed me what he was doing to my bike wheel, tighten and loosening the spokes. i of course being the high class lady that i am, i drooled on his shoe. he then put the wheel back on and fixed my brakes so that they were sitting right. i just drooled all over the place some more. 

we left, cuz they were closing down and biked our booty to earths general store.  bought soap, heck for 2 bucks a bar i bought 5! saved me like another 5-6 buck. got Dillon some candy, and a stick of apple pit stick for myself. omg its apple and i could just eat it! its all natural so i probably could. not that i would.....

I'm now listening to the kids play with dolls. supposedly the dolls father really isn't their father! oh the drama!

me and Scott are fighting again. i don't honestly think I'm ready for another one. he probable is wishing that we never did get back together on that rainy day over by the multi culti. i sometimes wonder if it was such a good idea too. perhaps we should have just cut the cord there and went on our merry way. 

yet at the same time, i just want to say I'm sorry, do whatever it is that he wants me to do and curl up into his arms and sleep. i know that I'm finally broken because of this, like an old horse that has been beaten to the edge of death. i just want to sleep. perhaps ill do that tonight. 

the girls just gave me a big hug and a kiss. that was kinda my silver lining.

dead phone, all alone.

ugh, my cell got cut off. me and Scott were super late on paying it i guess. *sigh* oh well. i threw $100 on it so hopefully Scott can pay off his share and we can get it hooked up again. not that it really help since its been acting really weird, it wont hold a charge.

on the good side im going to mollys for the weekend! YAY! no stiming lee, no wacko mom, just normal sane people. whew! the worst of my worries is that molly will get stress (which then she gets snappy/bitchy) or the kids will kill each other or themselves. usually about that time i offer to take care of the kids and let molly go have a break.

i really gotta make up a story for our writing group. i have one floating around in my head, yet i never seem to have time to sit down and type it out. k thats a lie, i have time but with lee stimming and my mom bitching i don't have the mental ability to.
\im gonna go read in bed now, nighty all!