For Pete's sake!

Okay so I'm gonna keep this sweet and short! i gots me homework!


School has started, right now I'm taking math pure and biology. i have math at the very beginning and Bio at the very end of the day. BIG ol gap in the middle of the day. which Ive come to the conclusion is okay, cuz it gives me time to finish my science. which i usually don't get done the night before, due to the fact i work almost EVERY BLOODY DAY!

so Ive been getting like 6-7 hours of sleep every night if I'm lucky, and constantly on the run. i honestly don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep this up, sooner or later I'm going to burnt out and hit rock bottom. but I'm just going t0 take it one day at the time, when i crash i crash. I'm not going to worry about it till then.

the funniest thing though is that when i get really busy and stressed out i start to eat better. odd hu? i start drinking more water, eating more regular meals, and just around find that what i take in is better then what i usually do when i actually have time to make good meals. that's probably the only reason i haven't dropped dead yet.

as for good news towards my busy life, due to all the work I'm making some good checks, AND i have still been able to do all my homework! and because of the i got, get this, and 88% on my math!!! I'm so freaking happy!! I'm one of the top 6 in my class! i pretty much pranced all the way home when i found that out. all morning i was coughing up rainbows and sunshine i was so happy. now Ive all i got to do is study hard for the science test i have on Friday and do well in that class and Ive got the world by the tail! must do good!

i have been hanging out with my friends a little lately. like Monday I took Amanda to see Superbad. oh god do i love that movie, I'm so buying it when it some to DVD! got 3 pairs of pants that i REALLY needed. i have like 2 pairs of pants. so yeah i broke down and got some. its awesome though cuz i got them all for 60 bucks. which is fairly good for new jeans that are of good quality. by good quality i mean non wal-mart crap.
got to see Kayla and Rachel yesterday by accident. me and dad were taking the dog for a walk and i bumped into the and we all went to my place for chats and pepper shakers. Kayla was amazed by our pepper shaker. they didn't leave till 12, which was a bad idea cuz I'm crazy tired today. pa

we did a brain lab today, i got the pleasure of manhandling a sheep's brain. the fact i was handling a sheep's brain or that i was singing lamb chops play along in my head the whole time, it was the smell. OMG the stuff they use to keep it preserved smells like death. which is ironic due to the fact that the brain is also dead. quite uncool.

speaking about my dog! damn thing when and ran away from us. i hopped onto my bike and started whistling and calling out to him as i biked up and down the blocks around my place. had this lil whore cat follow me for a while too. he/she wouldn't leave me alone. every time i called out Titus it would be all "ill be whoever you want me to be baby! PET ME!!!!"
I got discouraged and went into the bathroom to bawl my eyes out. dad didn't care, he was all "well good, now i don't have to deal with him and his stupid fir." then proceeded to bitch about how horrible Titus was. finally i made up 2 poster and put them on the mail box and newspaper box.
then about 1/2 an hour later the little shit was at the door! mom went to go outside to have a smoke and there he is waiting to come in.
he comes inside drinks some water, eats some food, and jumps onto dads bed and goes to sleep. I'm in this mixed emotional state. i wanna kill the little shit for making me so worried, but at the same time i wanted to cry and smother him with love and make him promise to never leave again. dad was like "oh look Titus is home!" and started to pet him. i wanted to drag Titus away from him cuz he didn't even care before that Titus was gone. still erks me.

also during that time i discovered something about myself. lately whenever i get really stressed i go out to my garage and go smoke some weed. it was okay cuz i found that nothing would bother me. mom could be yelling at me and be doing stuff that usually threw me into a rage, but when i was high i could just shrug it off. and as you read up above Ive been under a bunch of stress trying to juggle me, school, work, and my social life. so for a while i was doing quite a bit.

so when Titus went missing i was a wreak. i was going to go and gate high and not care about it, but then i stopped and though to myself, no i wanna not care about my dog. that's when i kinda when i noticed that i was doing a lot of pit and was using it as a escape from life. i hate that, i cant stand having something other then me controlling me. so to make a long story short i haven't done any in a long time. and I'm not planning on doing any for a bit. and if i do decide to do it again it wont be to escape anything.

Ive been kinda nervous about riding my bike lately. with all these horrible cyclist killings going on in the news, it just doesn't feel safe anymore. everyone is saying that cyclists should go onto the sidewalks, but there isn't always room, and if people would just pay attention to where they are driving/biking we would all be safer. like honestly, a cyclist is just a smaller car with a whole lot of less metal and toxic fumes. unless they ate chill. why is it that people are unable to give them the same respect as they do with those in cars. sheesh, i don't understand people these days. oh well.

me and Scott are done again. we were trying to figure things again, and i hoped this would be different and even though it wasn't really i kept holding out for it. but yeah. it was the same as always, he always would put john and others before us, and that what he figure was good me and him time was a screw and rolling over to go to sleep.
if anything i just wished that for once he would be the one to step up and be the 1st one to take the 1st step. but he never will. and I'm tired of being the one to do that.
heh, actually a bit back i was thinking about me and him, and i imagined him going off with someone or screwing the brains of some chick. and honestly it didn't bother me, unlike before it would have tore me apart. i guess that tiny spot in my heart for him has finally vacated and is now up for rent. i dunno. i want my bloody jem though, i wanna see what happens next lol! perhaps i can pick it up Sunday. or if I'm lucky Saturday.

wow, this wasn't that short or sweet. hmm i better go do some homework. well cya guys!