The internet is for porn.

I dont know whether its the T3s or the fact lee is still awake and i want to go to bed. im going to rant more. today its about porn.

why oh why do "sexy just legal blonds" insist on sending me junk on how im the "one!" and how they "want to make slow smexy with me and my HUGE cock"??

like um, when did grow a penis? and why are you flattering it? and how the hell am i suppose to have sex with you? your in Asia (yes shes a just legal, blonde sexy Asian) heck! lets even put aside the fact im lacking in the weenie department.

should i go buy condoms? do they have ones for keyboards? my keyboard is pretty big, its my penis keyboard! kinda like a penis car, but instead a keyboard. im trying to make up for my lack of weenie.

should i drag my computer to a snazzy restaurant so i can woo you? or would you like me to just slam it up against some grungy bathroom stall in the south side of Edmonton?

tell me women! i need to know! and if i slip a 20 into the CD drive will you get it on your end?

im scared, i better think this through. because your asking a lot here. you will be taking away my virtual virginity. by the way we never really did talk about how this intercourse will happen.
oh great not im nervous. maybe my penis keyboard isn't big enough?! thats it im going to go talk to WankyMcWanker about my penis size!

hey WankyMcWanker! you said you can make my penis 10x bigger! hot damn tell me how!
really? wow! interesting! i just take those pills? you sure they work? but i don't want to stick it in there! that looks painful.
wait what? but first i need a penis?! will a keyboard do? no? pity.

Im sorry "just legal, blonde sexy Asian" i just don't think it will work. ill have to let you go, you virtual slut, perhaps another man with an ACTUAL penis can help you. or at least someone with a much large keyboard.

good bye!




so, yeah. stop sending me that shit. thanks!