i can hear what you say but i just cant make a sound

so sat i went with molly to bike works. i was kinda disappointed. yeah , i know i get whiny, and that i have trouble working on my own, but please don't abandon me. i hate that. i really do. like molly said i need someone over my shoulder watching me, so that i know if im screwing up the person can point it out. i felt more like a pain, and kinda useless. in the end i think i screwed my bike up more then i fixed it. dad had to help me fix my brakes, and line them up again. he kept asking what the hell i did to it, and i told him that i didn't really know. then i told him i tried to true my wheel. he wasn't happy, he told me to NEVER touch that again. i knew i was screwing it up! like i said, more worse then good. i don't know if i really want to go back. well, i think i would want to go back, but with my dad, so he can help and make sure i don't fuck up. i hated it there. i felt so useless.

and i know that this will sound funny, but i want to find a spare tire and play with the spokes. i kinda wanna learn how to true my own wheel, even though i screwed the one on my bike. perhaps another day.

Sunday i spent in the garden, weeding, digging up roses and such. now that i have the roses out dad was commenting on how some tomatoes would be nice. ha! but i thought you didn't want to plant a garden!!! he can plant his tomatoes, as long as i have room for my pumpkins. so there!
the yard is starting to look really good! well, except for the dead spots in the grass because of Titus. i swear that dog pisses battery acid! ACID!!! everything he pees on dies.

prior to scott moving in his sister, Wendy, used to be the old tenant.

yesterday i cleaned up a bit of Scott's place. i totally scrubbed the bathroom! the place was nasty. i scrubbed the shower, which i swear hasn't been washed since Scott left. the grime was nasty. i just hopped in with only my unders on just started scrubbing. though Scott and I figure there is a leak, water started to seep out from under the shower. yet the last time i ran water in there nothing happened. hopefully Scott did take a shower downstairs like i asked so we can see whats going on.

i then cleaned the toilet again. it seems to get so gunky in less then a week, stuff just starts forming and collecting! i think its their water, because it has never gummed up that bad at our place in such a short amount of time.
you can also tell that the toilet hasn't been used in a a while, and hasn't been cleaned in even a longer time. when i use the scrub brush (which was sitting in toilet water and mouse poop) tons of mold started to come off ever time you flush. Scott found it odd, i figure its just loosening up and finally falling off. ick.

then i got around to cleaning under the bathroom and kitchen sink. oh god. there was mouse shit from one side to another. pretty much i threw everything out, and gave the rest a ammonia bath. now, im not one for using ammonia and bleach, i cant stand the smell, and i just dont think its good for you. but i draw the line at mouse turds. it was ammonia city that day. and the garbage! the amount of crap under the sink! like used toothbrushes, plastic bags, shredded rags, empty moldy jars, and tons more. 4, 4! bottles of carpet cleaner in a house that has only one room and a stairway that has carpet! more dishwasher solution then you can shake a stick at! and there isnt even a dishwasher down there! so i cleaned it all out threw most of it out.

so the sinks have no drain. we have to put buckets under there and let it drain into that so we can do dishes. why? because someone decided to let everything go down the drain and top it off with fish tank rocks. Wendy. so its not clogged solid, and has been sitting because Wendy didn't try to fix it.

finally i cleaned out the fridge from all the rotting food, that time i almost gagged and had to run outside. so sick! i found dead bugs in there too. i really have to clean it out fully!

so in the end i got quite a bit done, but i really wish Sheila would just go through her stuff, and not bitch how the kids never do even though she asks them. if they say just throw it out then toss it! dont just leave it and keep asking them to do it!

i think the next time im over we will go though the shoes in the door way and throw the rest into good will. because christ they have enough.

i also used some of the decorations i found on a barred kitchen table. Sheila kept asking me where they came from and i told her on the kitchen table. which she would keep asking, "what table?" if there is so much crap on the table that you cannot see the table or do not know there is a table we need to start throwing it out!

and all day today ive been throwing up. i think its because of cleaning Scotts place and trying to get rid of all the mouse poop. Wendy said to maybe leave some of the mouse poison out. but i feel bad poisoning them. i wish you could just rent a humane mouse trap and just let them go outside. even if a cat kills them i feel a bit better because they have a fighting chance.

i think im going to go lay down. i feel like shit.